w t f ?01 February 2005
thoughtless vday gifts
As promised... the fruit of your participation! You can pick up the published copy of the VDay Edition of GAFWM [at MBC...] Happy Valentine's Day!
A busted prophylactic and a flower, do not a Valentine, make. We all savor the elation that an unexpected (expected) token of affection brings us on this (overly-commercialized) day of love. Then there are those of us who dread Cupid and his arrow with our entire being!
“A few years back my boyfriend knocked me up (thanks to a busted prophylactic). I ended up getting a termination on Valentine's Day. He also thought that bringing me a flower (yes, one) would make me feel better. Derr.” --Anonymous
While Anonymous’ unfortunate Valentine is worse than thoughtless, it is not a typical representation; there are of course the gifts and the words that deflate our love-filled bubbles with a mere prick…
“One of my absolute worst (Valentines) was when my (now ex) boyfriend gave me a cactus; yes isn't that the weirdest thing you ever heard? He had this thing about not wanting to buy flowers, as they would just die within days and he thought that was a waste… Buying a typical house plant was a bad idea because I can't seem to keep anything alive.
So the cactus seemed cute and thoughtful UNTIL he came out and said, "So honey, now whenever you need a prick, you have one!" Stupidity should be painful.” –-Ange
My personal angst, and an oft-heard complaint from women involves the household appliance (not the bedroom type!) Let’s get this straight from the get-go and repeat after me, “Household appliances are not, under any circumstance, to be considered or given as a gift on holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, and especially not on Valentine’s Day!”
Whether we are corporate whores, housefrau’s, blue-collar, white-collar, or ring around the collar girls, we, do NOT want appliances on any other day, other than on the day they break down! There is no exception to this rule, unless you are a twisted bitch and LIKE appliances more than the average bitch!
When asked, most women lust for something sparkly. That does not translate to the blinding glimmer off the stainless steel blender in the glare of the evening sun. What it does translate to is that it must be wearable, or drivable (and no, vacuum cleaners do not count – it must be resident in the driveway or dangling from our body!)
When asked about lingerie, it was surprising to find that most women don’t actually prefer lingerie on Valentine’s either – they prefer to wear it, while giving their nearest and dearest their Valentine spoils. The one exception to giving lingerie applies when it is given in ‘Pandora’s Box’ style, and is used as a cover to hide one of the smaller sparkly items. This method is warmly, and reciprocally appreciated.
Of course, there are those of us who have rarely or never received a gift at all. Remember your friends and family on this day – it’s not all about you or your mate; take the opportunity to let your single friends and family know that YOU care…
“I would not be one to complain about Valentine gifts. Everyone is just lucky to have a Valentine/Valentine's if they get one. I've always been single, and the closest I came to not being so, was when I was dumped two days before.” --Sparkle
Our hearts went out to Sparkle, and we wish her a fine Valentine, and many special one’s in the future!
Moving forward, we weren’t quite sure what to make of this – but for purposes of inclusion and her heart to participate, here ya go! If anyone has creative suggestions for how to make this gal’s VDay a little brighter, let us know!
“I don't get Valentine's anymore since I got married. Why? My husband's birthday is Valentine's day.” --Jazzy
Overall, I guess I’ve just been lucky to experience the elation of some special Valentine’s in my life, and though this day is far too commercialized, we should all take a moment to let our loved ones know what they mean to us –- no chocolate required!
On that note, I’m taking this opportunity to say to my nearest and dearest, "I Love You, Babe. Happy Valentine’s Day!”
"guest feature" - date of publication: 02.01.2005 - bfp media publication archive
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scrawled by BTude a.k.a. GlassHoppah @ Tuesday, February 01, 2005
11 bitches:
I'm already liking the stories. And of course I am relieved I no longer have to play those stupid V.D. games!
http://www.thecheers.org/article_967_The_Folly_of_Valentines_Day.html
@ 01 February, 2005 09:24,
3rd Times a Charm eloquently stated...
I don't want to put a dark cloud over Valentines Day, but I'm compelled. Maybe it iS for my single friends who don't have that special someone, maybe it's the myriad of rotten Valentines of days past....and there were many. The first time my first husband beat me up badly, was you got it, on Valentines Day. My sister while growing up, (she was 2 yrs younger then me, and the cheerleader, at school and in the family; much sibling rivalry there) always received candies, cards and flowers. I, somehow never seemed to be dating anyone around that time of year. So yes, there were many negative experiences that impacted my attitude toward this over comercialized day. That also is a very gloomy day for single people, who desire that special someone, but yet don't have him or her. I am now remarried to a man I thought I would never find. He is my best friend. The best lover I have ever had. He likes to have fun, and play in life as much as I do. This man has never let my diningroom table be without a bouquet of fresh beautiful flowers. Never. In 3 and a half years. He buys me thoughtful gifts. I have an e-mail love letter written by him, every single day he leaves me to go to work. Over half that he ends up printing out, and putting together in a book for me, titled Letters to the Woman I love. (The other half is clogging a good deal of the storage space of my e-mail) In other words I have this year round valentine. (Not that we haven't fought on ocassion, disagreed, the normal relationship stuff) But the one day of the year, that I do not receive a gift, clocolates, flowers, big red heart cards....the usual V-day stuff, is Valentines Day. He knows how I feel about this day, and honors my wishes. On ocassion I may pick up a V-card for a friend, just to say "Hey I care. And I hope your day is a good one!" We do not go out to dinner on this day either. We do not plan one thing, that signifies this day. I have the best Valentine a woman could ever hope for, all year long.I just refuse to acknowledge this day, as lovers day. If it is a work day, then it usually is like any other day. But, we have had some wonderful Valentines day, going to Art shows, running errands, having lunch in an outdoor cafe (we live in AZ) Without ever once saying those dreaded words, Happy Valentines Day. And I don't think this day should even exist. Lovers, should acknowledge each other year round. And I think it puts unnecessary pressure to purchase the right thing, on both sexes. Why do it? For Hallmark? Godiva Chocolates? Florist shops? Resturaunts? I am sure they appreciate it. But this is one bitch, who thinks we should banish that day for good! (Sorry about the long post, I'm on pain killers right now, makes me ramble on....) But hey, Just want to say, I hope your Feb 14th is a good one! And I love reading your blog:-)
@ 01 February, 2005 10:40,
BTude a.k.a. GlassHoppah eloquently stated...
Great followups for this story! Andy, I left you a note at the Cheers, also!
3T: Hope you're doing better! Thanks for sharing that with me -- with us!)I don't hold much to Valentine's Day as far as gifts go - To borrow Andy's, "No particular occasion" - gifts are much more appreciated - simply because they are from the heart and not because corporate America has decided to sucker us all in with the "this is THE day to do it!"
BTW, If anyone reading this hasn't caught Andy's link - Great 'VD' story! - I highly recommend you stop by and drop him a visit!
@ 02 February, 2005 14:51,
boudica of suburbia eloquently stated...
Help! Its Valentines day again!
I go through the same motions every year... get up..check mail.. sulk... bitch. This year however I have decided to celebrate it with my housemates. V-day is meant to be shared with people you love, who said it had to be a partner?(Okay, St. Valentine probably did, but anyways).
We plan to drink copious amounts of alcohol,eat junk, and watch movies. I have no doubt, however, that our attempt to pervert the "couples-only" statute will not go unnoticed and we will end the evening as bawling drunken messes and have gained few pounds in Haribo in the process.
Still... a girls gotta try.
xx Vc
@ 02 February, 2005 15:41,
Becky eloquently stated...
That was tooo funny! I love the appliance one. My ex-father in law gave my ex mother in law a scum buster or something like that for Xmas and she was so disappointed. He couldn't tell why b/c, after all, she loved to clean. Men! Hahaha! Needless to say, she returned it.
@ 02 February, 2005 19:10,
D Brooks eloquently stated...
@ 03 February, 2005 02:15,
eloquently stated...
LOVELY new template! veree nice!
Starting to read now, and so far, I like! ^_^
mai
http://mai.madethis.net
@ 03 February, 2005 07:10,
Vics eloquently stated...
This is the first valentines in over 10 years that I haven't bitched about what an over commercialised waste of time it is *cue rant*
Serious, I even bought not one, not two but three cards today for my beloved.
I guess it comes down to the person you are with, sometimes any excuse for you to be able to spoil them is worth taking.
@ 03 February, 2005 10:40,
Andy Land eloquently stated...
LOVE the new look! I needs me one of those new template things. I'm just worried about losing all the past posts. I'm sure I am really worrying for no real reason. I'm just stoopid.
Love the read every day and the new template just makes things happier!
@ 03 February, 2005 15:18,
Grins eloquently stated...
@ 04 February, 2005 11:24,
BTude a.k.a. GlassHoppah eloquently stated...
Chilled - Sounds like you've a great VDay planned, go forth and indulge!
Becky, yeah, wow, that was another point - WHO in their right or left mind for that matter wants household items as gifts--they are necessities not tokens of affection! I haven't had a chance to "stop by" yet -- how was Cali?
Vics, spot on the mark! Thanks for stopping by!
Blogskin oglers: Thank you, thank Riika, thank you! It's great, yeah? I love it! Grins, hurry up!
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@ 01 February, 2005 08:00,
Andy Land eloquently stated...