BTude w t f ?

BTude a.k.a. GlassHoppah on the beaches of
Kaneohe, Hawaii, United States ... a 30 sumthin' attitudinally impaired brat, just returning to college. Is that a disability? Overworked, underpaid and in the midst of a major career change. Dare you ask for more about b'tude...

+ You are Cordially Invited...
+ i'm so outta' here!
+ back to school: week 10
+ domestic bender
+ shameless plugz: 03.12.2005
+ back to school: week 9
+ fresh off the jet: the flying penguini's arrive on...
+ back to school: week 8
+ shameless plugz: 03.01.2005
+ research: b.c./a.d. vs. c.e./b.c.e.

old baggage

20 March 2005


i'm so outta' here!

Blogger drove me over the edge with their "we're too big for our britches service," so we broke down and hooked up WordPress on one of our servers. We're moving on OUT!

Please update your bookmarks, blogmarks, blogrolls, click whore folders, and any stray links ;) This blog will stay put for redirect purposes, but will no longer be updated at this locale!

Follow me here, my darlings:
http://BTude.BFPMedia.com/

Also, if anyone needs WP hosting on the cheap drop me or DB a line-- (minimal cost only, no support on reliable servers)

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scrawled by BTude a.k.a. GlassHoppah @ Sunday, March 20, 2005
2 bitches

18 March 2005


back to school: week 10

Welcome to number ten in the series, "Get My Ass Outta’ This Class!"

DB and I are officially on Spring Break! Wooo Hooo! I will be looking skyward at these leaves for most of the next week, and when I’m not, we’ll be out snorkeling, lounging, and drinking it up (sorry, I don’t have a recent photo of my favorite sandy haunt, but will update with a photo next week :) Non-sandNsun plans include a collusion in 808 with Becky @ April Fool.

Updates: Last week’s “NO GRADE” on the anal paper rewrite has been updated to a strong ‘A’ with notations on strengths in all areas—honestly, I didn’t rewrite THAT much, so will be talking to My Philo Professor upon return from the break to sort out the WHY of the original “NO GRADE” to avoid another occurrence on the next paper. Il Professore (English) was appalled (read that as f’ing fried, appalled, righteously pissed off) at the Philo Prof’s 2 page, 8pt critique of my paper… I digress—at least I know *I’m* sane ;) And damnit, no, I didn’t go whining to him! He caught the dismayed voices before class, as a friend at school was reading through it with the same shock…neener, neener. (Can Grandmas still say neener, neener? Shit, cuz I don’t normally! lol)

Speaking of papers, what would Immanuel Kant say about Ted Bundy or Terry Schiavo’s case? (If anyone has a Schiavo link that IS NOT armchair commentary, please share—otherwise keep your bloggin’ links to thineselves ;)

Bitchitude: Sadly, I have been drawn into the socio-political arena on these cases for yet another grade. Is that fair, given that I have better things to expunge my breath on than the politico-based drama of the day. Ted Bundy was a calculating puke with subjective morals--he’s easy. The Schiavo case is so riddled with diarrheic propaganda, making it nearly impossible to form an educated opinion based on the mass of armchair commentary overwhelming the media, and puked up further by the blogosphere. I’d like to do the paper on Schiavo, but unless I can find some objective data, it seems pretty futile to even attempt a rational analysis… what say you?

I’d be very interested to see evidenced documentation for the basis of the March 18 determination—Is anyone able to get to the actual court records at this point?

I promised grade updates, didn’t I? Midterm GPA looking like a 3.5-3.67-ish por moi and might as well be a 4.0 for DB. He rawks—I know I might sound biased, but I also have to work with this man in an unbiased setting as well. So consider that a professional analysis of his crystallized wisdom—he just fucking rawks!

Regurgitated Research: I have to say THANK YOU again to EVERYONE who has dropped me research responses. I will have a massive edition of shameless plugz coming up next week, and being the true, the faithful, the loyal and adoring, considerate readers I have in each and every one of you, I know you’ll drop by and thank them profusely for getting this research crap offa my blogposting venue! lol :)

7 ta’ go!!! If you haven’t responded to my research survey, I impress upon you the importance of my education, my new future career, my reputation as the teacher’s techno-pet… what ARE you waiting for? :) 70 down, 30 to go! 94 down, 6 ta' go!

[ research: bc/ad vs. ce/bce]


Have a grrreat weekend, everyone!

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scrawled by BTude a.k.a. GlassHoppah @ Friday, March 18, 2005
4 bitches

16 March 2005


domestic bender

I need the practice, so sit down, cozy up, nuke some popcorn, and listen closely…

I…

I am…

I am going…

I am going to…

I am going to be…

I am going to be a…

I am going to be a… (ready for the kicker?)

I am going to be a grandmother.

Me, that’s right. Me… and all of my 39 years are going to be a grandmother.

W T F.

This should be a wonderful moment of merriment and celebration…

Yes?

No. I am only 39 years old.

My brilliant eldest spawn and all of his 18.8 years decided he was too studly for a condom on a booty call, and now there is a 21 year old (I’ll be nice—but use your imagination here) “chick” running around carrying my grandchild for the next hrmmm it sounds like 7 months to go (don’t let me think past this point for now, please!)

Whew, I said it out loud. I said it in public. I told dearest friend A, whose response was a simple round of “fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.” Repeated 3 times over.

My nearest and dearest, DB in all his dubious wisdom was right. He’s always right; the “phone call” could have been only one of two things, my ex od’d or my son knocked some girl up… I digress. He’s always right.

While I have no alternative but to be supportive, understand my position… this is not a good thing—he’s a kid, and she’s senseless. My son may be all grown up on the outside, but emotionally, he’s still a youngstah, himself. No steady job, to boot.

So, I’m still in shock, and honestly we’ve expected it, but the moment of truth is still incredulous to say the least.

I’m in an odd place in mind and time; we hadn’t made a final decision on if *we* were going to have a baby, yet. Weirdness abounds.

So my faithful readers let me leave you on this note…

I get to go from 0-60 overnight—no mo’ sweet young thang, but I get to skip middle-age and go straight to senior citizenship—Do I at least get some kind of discount card? ;)

Seriously, I’m all right, just trying to cope with my uhhhh, newly appointed ‘status.’

Thanks for listenin’
-C

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scrawled by BTude a.k.a. GlassHoppah @ Wednesday, March 16, 2005
21 bitches

12 March 2005


shameless plugz: 03.12.2005

Pimpin’ You, Pimpin’ Me…

For those of you I’ve already thanked, Mahalo again, and my gratitude to Suzanne @ Contemblogging, Cara @ To Whom it May Concern, and their most helpful readers this morning who showed up in the name of research, to cut yet another slice out of the “ta’ go” total! Golf Widow @ Ministry of Silly Walks brings the weekend to a delightful close, with another successful bump to the tallied responses... this brings us into the home stretch!

Sex, drugs, disabilities, and discrimination--oops, right statute… wrong post (or is it?!?) D. Brooks @ Corporate Crap brings us laughing back to the bank with a follow up on bullying in the workplace—this is a must read—are you a victim? What are the signs? What can you do about it? Interested in the possibility of a book with detailed victim accounts? Let DB know you’d love to hear the gory details while you’re there!

While Becky @ April Fool was twisting our necks in the last version of shameless plugz, but I must shamelessly pimp her out in this edition, too! She unleashed a great new look, with fresh blogskin in red, white and black! Let her know how much you like it, love it, adore it, and ok, worship it, too! great new blogskin! Of course, I’m biased, and honestly only minutely glory hounding… I designed her new logo! (There’s no way to get around that—go visit her! lol) Hey, we all gotta’ work it occasionally, otherwise it gets rusty! Remember that—it’s multipurpose!!!

Viva Las Vegas for Jade @ Jaded Sunburns who is getting married today! Leave her your well wishes and check out the rest of her blog... Oh yes, and let Priss @ House of Crap know how much she rawks for Jade's great skin!

Will corporate whoredom proffer some mercy on the souls of independent and up and coming musicians—hell no, I say and there’s definitely no penance, so sayeth Bud Buckley.

We all enjoy music in form or another—so, support your local musicians and the venues they play!

Speaking of musicians and chocoholics, I received a research response from another musician, who incidentally has a great sense of humor--Lafe Dutton. I requested his permission to share it wit’ y’all because I got a hearty giggle out of it! Here it is:

1. B.C. = Butterscotch Chocolate and A.D. = Almost Dead from lack of chocolate.
2. C.E. = Chocolate Eclairs and B.C.E. = Better Chocolate Eclairs
3. B.C.E. because you can mark the dates on the calendar with a chocolate fingerprint.
4. Hedonist.
5. Absolutely! I revere chocolate!
6. The only happiness in War is when the soldiers hand out chocolate. This must mean something.

War Cry Girl @ A Cure For Boredom also put in her two cents on the research, so I had to pay the piper--she was the 80th response! Drop by and say hey, and to EVERYONE else listed here! And don't forget to check out her skin--it's an awesome graphic, and she also some fabulous links to follow... I'm doing the same as soon as I quit laughing my fool ass off about "horking hairballs, the size of grapefruits..." You'll just have to read it yerselves, though!

If you deem yourself worthy, or hell, even unworthy and have something kickass to share with my wonderfully loyal 13.25 readers, feel free to say HEY YOU, WTF! And I’ll update to include you…be sure to leave your attention-grabbing line of “get yer’ bootay over here and read me” with it! (Ok, really substitute that with your own version!)

Regurgitated Research: if you haven’t responded to my research survey, I impress upon you the importance of my education, my new future career, and my reputation as the teacher’s techno-pet… What ARE you waiting for? :) 31 down, 69 to go! 94 down, 6 ta' go!

[ research: bc/ad vs. ce/bce]

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scrawled by BTude a.k.a. GlassHoppah @ Saturday, March 12, 2005
3 bitches

10 March 2005


back to school: week 9

Welcome to number nine in the series, "Get My Ass Outta’ This Class!"

My perfect attendance record is officially toast! I played hooky, ditched school, skipped school (ok, I’m not so badass, it was only half a day, but a much needed one!)

DB was sicker ‘an a sad dawg, and I wasn’t feeling so hot—but damnit if it isn’t MORE work and time consuming to not go, than to have stayed! We had to hunt down two professors, email assignments, and play phone tag to pick up missed assignments and information. Ahhh, I almost think we should have just stayed there and suffered through! Skippin’ school surely ain’t what it used to be! I used to just walk in one door and out the other, then over to the busstop, and on to the beach, once I knew the parent-model had driven off!

Confessions: So just as I think my energy is gearing back up and adjusting from it’s maladjusted state, getting a paper returned with a “no grade,” oops, wait, let me rephrase, “NO GRADE” was so totally not what I needed! I rewrote it, but it was traumatic to say the least, sapping me of every ounce of vitality left in my soul. Two pages of comments in 8-point type—I mean c’mon! I’m pulling 100+ percent in English right alongside this class, and was the same in that one, that is until now! Cross your fingers, toes, eyes, and any spare body parts for me that the rewrite survives for a decent grade!

“Why, oh why, did this happen, B’Tude?” Well, my darlings, it is partially because I used more than 2 syllable words, or rather because I didn’t dumb it down enough (WTF, isn’t that what my blog is for?) and secondly because dis’ proffesore’ is working way outside of the box for style and we clashed in the middle, somewhere. I’ll be sure to let you know if the old dog can learn new tricks—It felt so ‘high school’ turning in an extremely dumbed-down rewrite, but it was what he asked for…yeesh!

In other news, the scholarly marks at the midterm point are doing well otherwise, and only one midterm left, which thankfully, should be fairly breezy. We shall see, as my confidence now waivers in the light of the “NO GRADE” issue…

Compliment of the day: Being of age (well, nontraditional age) comes with an unspoken responsibility--Professors can use you for examples, and some of us occasionally have something to say… in this case it was about flaky ex’s and child support. When asked how many years the ex had ‘skipped’ paying, I answered. Unprepared and confused about the doubletake (not once, but twice) and necks craning around the room, he utters, “Well, you sure do pickle well!” The younger crowd was a bit puzzled, and he reiterated with “preserved” which they understood better. Are you sure? Uhhh, yeah. Does nobody see these deepening laugh lines, but me? Vanity… it’s a terrible thing to waste!

So I leave that class and walk into the evil FreakShrink’s class—get situated, just as she demands the entire back rows to move up front. I dogmatically shook my head, pointed to my eyes (the whole petrified contact thing, remember?) She was prepared this time—she had turned the front air conditioners OFF! Damnit, anyways! I guess she didn’t appreciate us backrow slackers (2/3) being in the back rows—we broke her stereotype! But I submitted, moved up and intently gazed upon her as she lectured. I’m not complaining though, she cut us loose 30 minutes early! Hrmmm, do you think that would work twice? Lol—I’ll let you know!

I haven’t left for my last day this week, yet. I’m reserving this spot in the event something truly amazing happens today, but I’m hoping not! I’ll update as necessary, though!

Updated: 03.15.2005 Regurgitated Research: if you haven’t responded to my research survey, I impress upon you the importance of my education, my new future career, my reputation as the teacher’s techno-pet… what ARE you waiting for? :) 47 down, 53 to go! 94 down, 6 ta' go!

[ research: bc/ad vs. ce/bce]

And mahalo (thank you) once again, to everyone who has responded and pimped out my homework! I can't even begin to express how much it has helped!

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scrawled by BTude a.k.a. GlassHoppah @ Thursday, March 10, 2005
6 bitches

05 March 2005


fresh off the jet: the flying penguini's arrive on o`ahu!

It’s a great day when the mailman delivers one of those lovely brown mystery boxes. Today, he brought me a box from Chicago. One-upping the Chicago address, was the tempestuous comedian, Andy Martello’s address… What could it be?!? (This is where you ohhh and ahhh in wonder with me…ohhh, ahhh).

Squeals of delight could be heard emitting from this treasure, as the box ventured down the hard trek of the evil stairway. We had to go grocery shopping, and left the little box alone for another hour…

Upon our return from the evils of grocery shopping on a Saturday, we opened the box—and oh so very carefully! I was expecting something to jump out at me and ducked as a matter of fact and that’s when I saw… THE FLYING PENGUINIS!

Oh, one by one, I gently removed them from their packing material, cooing and ahhhing each one. One whispered to me that it wanted to go to the beach…

Two more Penguinis jumped out and demanded to go to the beach, but it was much too dreary out to forge through the nasty weather. It was all I could do to keep them contained!

They tried to perform on their own, to no avail. I had to sit through DB reading their instructions to me. I carefully identified Penguini 1, Penguini 2, and Penguini 3 and held them close. It was at that very moment, I knew I would never be a juggler, and Penguini 1 and 2 almost rolled off the lanai to the terrace below. DB lurched, and managed to save them before they fell to their deaths.

While all of this was taking place, Penguini 3 went straight for DB’s sandy slippahs, and was hell bent on hitting the beach. I spent most of the afternoon coaxing him into waiting it out until a much more pleasant day.

I hesitate to think what DB’s foot was doing behind Penguini 3, but this was the end result. DB told me later, that Penguini 3 whispered in his ear, “this bitch needs more practice.” But I digress.

While DB came to the Flying Penguini’s rescue, he refuses to sleep with them, forcing me to remove them from the bed…

BTW, Andy, that whole penguin thing—it just doesn’t belong in the bedroom! But I’m taking better care of your wayward spawn, and I promise, they’ll get to the beach, soon!

Everyone else, take a moment to stop by Andy’s Blog and let him know how much you enjoy his bloggerdom, his comedy, his wry sense of humour, and his furry little critters.

Andy Martello will whore himself out to almost any venue across the globe for the right price. Public shows, parties, private shows, corporate ho’s and mo! If you need an entertainer, Andy’s your man! Call him. Call him now!

And Andy, darlin’ thanks so much for all the goodies! For everyone else, I am now hoarding my personalized autographs, pictures, and the coolest marketing collateral (ok, brochure, Damnit, anyways!) So you'll have to get your own!!!

THANK YOU, ANDY!!!


PS Those are NOT my legs!

PPS If you have not yet responded to my research survey (c’mon it’s homework!) click this [ research: b.c./a.d. vs. c.e./b.c.e. ] and follow the instructions there—thank you! 52 down, 48 to go! 94 down, 6 ta' go! Made it past the halfway hump (some pun intended!)

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scrawled by BTude a.k.a. GlassHoppah @ Saturday, March 05, 2005
14 bitches

02 March 2005


back to school: week 8

Welcome to number eight in the series, "Get My Ass Outta’ This Class!"

If you have not yet responded to my research survey (c’mon it’s homework!) click this [ research: b.c./a.d. vs. c.e./b.c.e. ] and follow the instructions there—thank you! 52 down, 48 to go! 94 down, 6 ta' go! Made it past the halfway hump (some pun intended!)

I did mention, that I’d leave this here until I got 100 responses, right? Right! I have shown you some mercy; I’m tormenting people in other places, as well! Thanks to DB, Becky, Andy, Marjo, and Andy twice for pimping my homework out! And as an up and coming blogwhore marketer, extraordinaire, thank you Priss for keeping me off Honolulu's street corners at House of Crap, while Bud Buckley appeals to the intellect in everyone, with my nondiscernable social problems! I’m sure I should shoot for tuition next! Thank you, thank you very much and many more thanks to all who have responded!

Bitchitude: Group or growl? Oh, I have been a patient girl (which I’m not ordinarily, but you know that lovely dull calm of cold indifference (you know the emotion you opt for instead of striking some dumb kunt—yeah, that’s the one!) I’m so glad I’m plum full of fucking character, right now, and so full of it I could spit…oops I guess I did…

I work great on a team, I can work on one or manage one, it makes nary a bit of difference. I loathe working in groups on projects that are dependent on someone else to make my grade though… I am a spoiled bitch, yes. Aside from that, I get stuck (I swear it’s a curse) with this one crazy old biddy bitch (no exaggeration) 2 out of the last 3 times—is there no God or Gods of some sort who can stop this?!? But anyways…

We (the 4 members in my group) spent x amount of time debating and establishing our answers, we’ve fine tuned, we’ve got it going on (note: this is Moral Philosophy) and regardless of the subjective nature of this class, we think we are done… old biddy bitch opts to bitch and moan the entire way through, because she’s a little low on lube, I think, anyways, she submits to agreement by mere force of majority rule. Biddy Bitch then offers to compile the answers (only one of us needed to put them to paper), and gets to the point she’s in such disagreement (even with the answers highlighted in black, white and yellow) that she turns to me and says, “I’m not listening to you anymore” and proceeds to continue writing. WTF?

Not being one to pass up the opportunity for someone in this class to stand up to her—I took it, and eloquently told her to get the fuck out of my group–nah, not really! I was polite (I have a witness who never heard a thing from the next group over)—I merely told her in a lovely monotone voice of indifference that there were other groups, and to scoot… (Honestly, my elbow was really aiming for her nose at this point). She started to gather her crap, but thought better of it.

As it turns out, she had also written down her own answers and totally ignored the group’s responses—of course in her warped reality, there was no other answer… we were then treated to a round of “I came home and caught my husband in bed with another woman, and I’m only in college for the cheap health insurance to pay for my $470 worth of medication.” WTF… I’ll let you all do with that bout of weirdness, as you will--my brain can’t handle anymore.


What’s worse, that or the phone call about your soon to be 11 year old getting suspended from school for downloading a bomb formula? Well, the school did let him off the hook, as well as the FBI under the condition he only talks to us about it—it was innocent, he’s a curious little intellect in the making (too much so), but now better understands why some curiosities are better left uninvestigated…sheesh. Whatta day—and that was only Tuesday!

Oh? You thought I was done? You should know better by now—certainly, you have to understand that I’ve had to suffer through my sweetheart’s woes as well, only to discover this… Some nerve I say—oh, do read those in order (‘woes to this’—NOT ‘this to woes’)!

Ok, so I’m in good spirits, regardless (still tired, but much improved!) Spring Break is just around the corner, and I won’t tout the current grade tally in light of jinxing it…but soon my darlings, soon! :)

However, I will let you know, that I have received yet a second “wow!!”<--(notice two exclamation marks on this one) from the FreakShrink Professor—the girl in the back row kicked ass. The other high-scoring slacker sits in the back row with me! We are two of the top 3 grades in the class… how’s that for rocking slackerdom? ;)

PS Instant replay: if you haven’t responded to my research survey, I impress upon you the importance of my education, my new future career, my reputation as the teacher’s techno-pet… what ARE you waiting for? :)

[ research: b.c./a.d. vs. c.e./b.c.e.]

Aloha!

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scrawled by BTude a.k.a. GlassHoppah @ Wednesday, March 02, 2005
9 bitches

01 March 2005


shameless plugz: 03.01.2005

Pimpin’ You, Pimpin’ Me… How does that sound for an update to shameless plugz? I can’t keep whoring away with
Andy’s “Virtual Mutual Masturbation” line, so I had to get creative and come up with one of my own… sheesh—he always gets the good stuff! Drop me your thoughts!

Updated: 03.15.2005. If you have not yet responded to my research survey (c’mon it’s homework!) click this [ research: b.c./a.d. vs. c.e./b.c.e. ] and follow the instructions there—thank you! 47 down, 53 to go! 94 down, 6 ta' go! Made it past the halfway hump (some pun intended!)

So down to the nature of the blog nurture--D. Brook’s
latest blog entry offers some fodder for thought on life. He includes a lovely, lovely list, so you can do quick flyby of the pages of your own life.

Becky has been keeping the neck twisting lately with some provocative photos, as if mastering comment-whoring weren’t enough, she’s now got butt crack, Maplethorpe butt floss and a little revelation on the mystery of tampons…

We can all thank Golfwidow over at Ministry of Silly Walks for the continuity of the theme in today’s shameless plugz with the inclusion of Pussylicking. ahhh, c’mon, I have kids, and am only a part-time pervertress! It’s pussylicking on a computer screen!

Ok, so like, if politico, 1st and 6th Amendments, books, and coathanger tax issues sound more appealing than buttcrack, tampons and pussylicking… step on over to Marjo’s at News and Views From Philadelphia.

Then there's always something for those of us with a serious twisted sense of what we find amusing--if you consider yourself to be uptight in the twaddle department--don't click below--ok? OK. BUT, If you find a little humour in something that could be contrived as negatory with a different kinda' twist--click it, click it now! Oh, and don't leave me or the other blogger any uptight twaddle, if you opted to click it anyways!

And of course, some music to relax by... if any or all of these topics have you much too wound up to even finish surfing--make a final stop by Bud Buckley's for some musical insights and some R&R!

If you deem yourself worthy, or hell, even unworthy and have something kickass to share with my wonderfully loyal 13 readers, feel free to say HEY YOU, WTF! And I’ll update to include you…be sure to leave your attention-grabbing line of “get yer’ bootay over here and read me” with it! (Ok, really substitute that with your own version!)

PS Instant replay: if you haven’t responded to my research survey, I impress upon you the importance of my education, my new future career, my reputation as the teacher’s techno-pet….what ARE you waiting for? :)

[ research: b.c./a.d. vs. c.e./b.c.e.]

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scrawled by BTude a.k.a. GlassHoppah @ Tuesday, March 01, 2005
15 bitches