BTude w t f ?

BTude a.k.a. GlassHoppah on the beaches of
Kaneohe, Hawaii, United States ... a 30 sumthin' attitudinally impaired brat, just returning to college. Is that a disability? Overworked, underpaid and in the midst of a major career change. Dare you ask for more about b'tude...

+ back to school: week 8
+ shameless plugz: 03.01.2005
+ research: b.c./a.d. vs. c.e./b.c.e.
+ back to school: week 7
+ back to school: week 6
+ shameless plugz: 02.18.2005
+ bitch and bull: 02.11.2005
+ back to school: week 5
+ bitch and bull: 02.04.2005
+ back to school: week 4

05 March 2005

fresh off the jet: the flying penguini's arrive on o`ahu!

It’s a great day when the mailman delivers one of those lovely brown mystery boxes. Today, he brought me a box from Chicago. One-upping the Chicago address, was the tempestuous comedian, Andy Martello’s address… What could it be?!? (This is where you ohhh and ahhh in wonder with me…ohhh, ahhh).

Squeals of delight could be heard emitting from this treasure, as the box ventured down the hard trek of the evil stairway. We had to go grocery shopping, and left the little box alone for another hour…

Upon our return from the evils of grocery shopping on a Saturday, we opened the box—and oh so very carefully! I was expecting something to jump out at me and ducked as a matter of fact and that’s when I saw… THE FLYING PENGUINIS!

Oh, one by one, I gently removed them from their packing material, cooing and ahhhing each one. One whispered to me that it wanted to go to the beach…

Two more Penguinis jumped out and demanded to go to the beach, but it was much too dreary out to forge through the nasty weather. It was all I could do to keep them contained!

They tried to perform on their own, to no avail. I had to sit through DB reading their instructions to me. I carefully identified Penguini 1, Penguini 2, and Penguini 3 and held them close. It was at that very moment, I knew I would never be a juggler, and Penguini 1 and 2 almost rolled off the lanai to the terrace below. DB lurched, and managed to save them before they fell to their deaths.

While all of this was taking place, Penguini 3 went straight for DB’s sandy slippahs, and was hell bent on hitting the beach. I spent most of the afternoon coaxing him into waiting it out until a much more pleasant day.

I hesitate to think what DB’s foot was doing behind Penguini 3, but this was the end result. DB told me later, that Penguini 3 whispered in his ear, “this bitch needs more practice.” But I digress.

While DB came to the Flying Penguini’s rescue, he refuses to sleep with them, forcing me to remove them from the bed…

BTW, Andy, that whole penguin thing—it just doesn’t belong in the bedroom! But I’m taking better care of your wayward spawn, and I promise, they’ll get to the beach, soon!

Everyone else, take a moment to stop by Andy’s Blog and let him know how much you enjoy his bloggerdom, his comedy, his wry sense of humour, and his furry little critters.

Andy Martello will whore himself out to almost any venue across the globe for the right price. Public shows, parties, private shows, corporate ho’s and mo! If you need an entertainer, Andy’s your man! Call him. Call him now!

And Andy, darlin’ thanks so much for all the goodies! For everyone else, I am now hoarding my personalized autographs, pictures, and the coolest marketing collateral (ok, brochure, Damnit, anyways!) So you'll have to get your own!!!


PS Those are NOT my legs!

PPS If you have not yet responded to my research survey (c’mon it’s homework!) click this [ research: b.c./a.d. vs. c.e./b.c.e. ] and follow the instructions there—thank you! 52 down, 48 to go! 94 down, 6 ta' go! Made it past the halfway hump (some pun intended!)


scrawled by BTude a.k.a. GlassHoppah @ Saturday, March 05, 2005

14 bitches:

@ 05 March, 2005 20:11, Blogger Andy Land eloquently stated...

Well now, if that is not blog-whoring I don't know what is. Very funny post.

Thanks for the mention of my many useless and decidedly unbankable skills, but mostly thanks for the photos. Those brought a much-needed smile to my face. Sure it is a temporary smile, as I'm generally one depressing muthafookah, but it was a welcomed smile.

And I had hoped those were not your legs. Oh man did I hope! So thanks for the clarification.

I forgot to send you a set of juggling scarves with instructions. That's the absolute easiest way on the planet to learn how to juggle. If I live through the month I'll be sure to send you some.

Also thanks for the recent e-mail with some sort of place where a pretend writer can try and ply his wares. I'm sure I'll never really get around to sending anything out for disapproval, but it is sweet that you sent it to me.

Gotta go re-read the post and laugh, before I go to bed and cry.


@ 06 March, 2005 07:36, Blogger mrsmogul eloquently stated...

I loooove penguins. The highlight was when I witnessed the Penguin Parade on Phillips Island, Australia!


@ 06 March, 2005 08:15, Anonymous howlingman eloquently stated...

Ever have one of those weeks when certain images or words keep popping up all around you, in every medium? For the last three days, my image has been the PENGUIN.

I've seen live penguins in commercials; mentioned on my buddy's blog via a comment by his girlfriend; computer-generated in Fight Club last night, telling me and Ed Norton to "slide"; and now here on your blog this afternoon.

I don't understand why these things pop up as such, but each new instance is unique yet dearly familiar, and I just roll with it because it often makes me smile.



Andy, now go back to your blog and read it ;)

Mrs Mogul, I looooove penguins, too! Waddle, waddle, slide... they are just comical to watch, period and their men are wise ;)Thanks for stopping in, again!

Howlingman, thanks for dropping in--it must be the weekend of the penguins! Have you ever seen the flash game with the yeti and the penguin? It's hilarious. It would top off your weekend of penguin, with flare (or something!) giggles


@ 06 March, 2005 09:29, Blogger Bud eloquently stated...

The penguins were strangely adorable and funny. Inexplicable since penguins remind me of nuns, and nuns remind me of torture and all things unnatural and illogical. All very Andyesque and yes, I'm also glad those were not your legs!


@ 06 March, 2005 17:43, Blogger Kelly eloquently stated...

too funny, love the little tux's. thatks for the comment on my blog, hope I didnt bore ya too much! - Kelly


@ 06 March, 2005 18:12, Blogger Joe Schulenberg eloquently stated...

Wow, yoos guys swapp'in penguins and all. Hysterical. Pardon me if the reality of this has taken about a day to set in. Saw the pictures on Andy's site, not a good reader, didn't realize what the hell was going on. Andy sent penguins to Hawaii, they are there, photographed and in the hands of bitchitude. Vedy nice.


@ 06 March, 2005 19:06, Blogger Andy Land eloquently stated...

Oh yeah, she's been wanting to get her hands on my penguin for some time now. Oh yeah, baby.

Nope. Still doesn't work. ;)


@ 07 March, 2005 16:45, Blogger Becky eloquently stated...

Wow! Cool to get a gift like that. I'm jealous. I've only sent stuff out, never receiving anything yet. And, those looked like dude legs to me anyway.

BTW, I tried commenting yesterday but Blogger was crapping out, so I just wanted you to know I wasn't slacking!


@ 07 March, 2005 17:11, Blogger Andy Land eloquently stated...

Well Becky, if you want some penguins of your very own...there ARE ways.


@ 08 March, 2005 06:40, Blogger Jade eloquently stated...

I want flying penguins! I checked out his site, and he is funny! I don't know if I'll get penguins, not into naughty poses (manatees don't generally make for "sexy" anything!)
However, they sure are adorable!


@ 08 March, 2005 10:10, Blogger Andy Land eloquently stated...

Sorry for shilling here, Christine...

A Quick course in Penguin catching:

A) Send me an Andy Martello fan sign pic and you get a collector's card

B) Post your Andy Martello fan pic on your blog and you get a CD with 25 different versions of Louie Louie

C) If that fan pic features a penuin of your own inside OR if you are a lovely little hottie for me to drool over in some seductive pose, you get the Penguini Kit. I'm a big dumb male so attractive ladies always win you see. The penguins in your photo need not be in naughty poses, but I'd sure laugh my ass off if they were. If you're a naughty little love tart AND you have a penguin in the get everything! LOL!

Thanks for checking the site, Jade. I'll be sure to stop by your own soon.


Sheesh, I disappear for a coupla' days and the inmates are running the asylum!

Joe, lol!

Bud, me too! And Becky, one never knows these days, we must verify that all parts and facts are indeed our own--including (or not, in this case) hairy dude legs ;)

Kelly! Thanks for stopping by!!

Jade, see Andy's shilling up there, lol -- I dunno if I'm supposed to tell or not, but *I* didn't have to jumnp through those hoops, but shhhhhhh, I promised to pimp his penguinis in trade!

LMAO Andy, no, it still doesn't work! Oh, btw, should I be wary of what's on this CD? I mean it has warnings and such on it?!!? Should I be afeared? lol (I'll let you know!)


@ 09 March, 2005 06:55, Blogger Andy Land eloquently stated...

I believe you should be afraid of the penguins more than the disc I sent. You got the special BONUS Andy Martello performance DVD instead of the Louie Louie CD.

Actually, be afraid of it all and send it back I miss them already!


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